A 142 year old front row saw a welcome
return of tighthead Mark "Dai" Baldwin finally back from his volcanically
extended holiday in the Caribbean, DJ
Shannon at loosehead with "young" Rick
"Swing" Lowe suspended in between. In the engine room it was business as usual
with our most "capped" forward John "only the" Lonie & Phil "get me to the church on
time" Gouldbourn providing the grunt; with a seriously young and spritely back
row containing our two promising
youngsters Marcus "the Shark" Hope & Rob "Barstool" Bastock both still only
37 bless, with parental guidance coming in the form of Nick "the Assassin"
Levey.
For the Attendants a second outing
(eventually...he made Gary's arrival look positively premature!) for Junior
Williams stepping in again for Shaun the sheep at scrum half, who like Officer
Burrows was on call for work, but who unlike Officer Burrows didn't come to
watch! Outside him the classy limousine of a fly half that is Ian Neville and in
the centres that vintage Yards pairing of Chairman Fitz & his young
apprentice Gary "Fishnet" Williams, with Simon "the Time Lord" Davis a late
runner coming in on the wing (he'd apparently told me he was available last week
but I was too bladdered following our Moseley frockfest to remember), "Spliff"
Farrell on the opposite wing and Ralphy Rollins at fullback.
Another big bench with David "Chicken"
Hanson continuing his comeback after a season sadly ravaged with a serious knee
injury, our sexagenarian (yes that is a real word) Steve Painter (showing that
most of you still have another ten seasons left) "the Colt" Arkell, fellow
camper & club coach Gary "Bobo" Robinson, Richard "Jacko" Jacks
(after moonlighting first for the Development Team), Alistair Goldbourn (who now
can't seem to stay away, please start your season a little earlier next time
Al) and bringing up the rear, the port, the water, the first aid kit and the
balls Captain Slow.
We win
the toss and I opt to stay where we're standing (& not warming up) and play
away from the Club hoping the smell from Sid,Tom & Pricey's BBQ will spur us
on in the second half. I had a nice brand
new Gilbert match ball for the occasion, stolen from the police by the police
most likely, but were were unable to start
with it as it unfortunately lacked some air so off I go in search of a pump.
I spoke to Graham the Tamworth captain on
arrival who informed me that his side contained a couple of younger lads....a
couple!.. more like their entire back division, but nothing that we haven't seen
off before. As expected the opening
five or so minutes were very much nip & tuck in the forwards, with perhaps
us shading it in the backs with Nev bringing Simon in off the wing to make some
great penetrating runs.
It is from one of these barnstorming runs
that Simon burst through the Tamworth midfield to be hauled down about five
metres out but makes a great pass off the deck to Fitz following in his wake to
crash over for the game's first try close to the posts 5-0
Ralph strokes the conversion over for a 7-0 lead.
With our scrum solid No.8 Barstool begins
his one man assault on their fringes, picking up from the base and making good
yardage time after time with Nick & Marcus in close support as we begin to
string good passages of play together and with Rick hitting Phil & Marcus in
the lineouts the pressure begins to mount on Tamworth in the opening quarter.
Twenty minutes in we are awarded a free kick, which Nev takes quickly, sells
some double glazing before spinning it out to that wannabe threequarter Shannon
who takes two men out before returning the pass, and Nev sidesteps the last
defender to score under the posts 12-0. Ralph converts for a
healthy 14-0 lead.
Understandably we probably ease off a touch
allowing them to come back into the game and a fine run by their winger sees him
go over mid way out right hand side, and a successful kick sees our lead cut in
half 14-7. The useful outfit that they are, Tamworth come more
& more into the game with some good passages of play of their own and
finally manage to isolate Cedric a few metres from our line to go over wide out
14-12 conversion missed. Shortly after Cedric who had
been soldiering on with a leg injury sustained earlier on in the half comes off,
Chicken comes on.
14-12 Half-time & Port taken in a leisurely interval, even Trevor
the ref has a snifter. Marcus & Simon take themselves off to participate in
the Dads v Lads game, John & Rick just go off (sure I'm supposed to have
some say in all this) Arks, Slow, Ali G & Jacko all on in that positional
order.
Slow tactically withdraws from the fray with the unexpected return of the
Time Lord, just in time for Tamworth to score a breakaway try to take the lead
for the first time 14-17 conversion missed. No panic yet, we've
been here before and Vandals don't lie down.
Then a moment of the sublime, we are awarded a penalty about ten metres out
which we take quickly the ball is spun out to Nev who in a pre-planned move with
Barstool runs laterally and Rob comes thundering in on the crash taking all the
defence with him as Nev proceeds to sell an outrageous dummy of truly biblical
proportions to glide through the young defence to score under the sticks
19-17 & class will out. Ralph again converts
21-17.
Our tireless midfield of Fitz & Smoking, marshalled by the ever vocal
Hanson continue to put in the hard yards making tackle after tackle against
their younger opponents Fitz making one great last ditch effort in the far
corner to prevent a certain score.
Dai is now struggling with his mysterious ankle injury so Bobo suits up and
becomes the season's 72nd and final Vandal. Our pack now probably being as big
as it has been all season begins to reassert its' first half dominance and
starts to shunt the Tamworth eight around. Rob takes a breather, Steve Painter
comes on into the second row, Alistair switches to the flank, and Arks goes to
eight.Slow sneaks back onto the wing long enough to make a controlled collision
on one of their centres much to the delight of Chicken, and no we never had
sixteen on at the same time. Simon comes off.
Our final try is a direct result from our forward domination as the big
lads take it on from just inside the Tamworth 22 for a couple of phases, before
Shannon breaks clear and drives for the line, capping a fine game in the loose;
he is tackled just short but manages to get the pass away to Jacko in support
who juggles the ball around his ears to go over next to the posts
26-17. Ralph makes no mistake making it four from four
28-17.
There is no further score as we run down the clock, a full 80 minutes work
this week too.
Final score 28-17 Final age a massive 686 which I'll save you the bother is an average age
45.75!!!! And no I'm not
changing all the shirts as 677 sounds infinitley more like a crack bomber
squadron.
A special thanks to John, Bobo & Arks
who returned from camping especially for the game (and to have a few hours peace
from the wives obviously).
Thanks too, to those who voted in this
season's Vandal's Vandal, but please don't vote for the captain next time as I
don't count & I also have the power of veto; anyway for those not present,
this prestigious new accolade went to Dave Rollins, who was an almost ever
present throughout the season, playing in every Attendant's position from scrum
half to fullback and being the side's (despite Coatesy's & Horse's
spectacular efforts) top scorer amassing a personal points tally of 147 points.
Well done Ralph.
For those with insomnia I've attached
our statistics for the season, plus our fixtures for the year, but summarising
that was competitive win number 18 with just the 5 losses, our final try was our
107th (an average of nearly five a game) and we
remained unbeaten at Tilehouse Lane. We
lost five games to the weather, and another five to a combination of opposition
cry-offs, international weekends & giving work experience upwards. One final
interesting statistic is that we kicked just six penalties all season, nothing
to do with the quality of our two front line kickers more an indication that
wherever possible we chose either to run or kick to the corners.
We can be very proud of what we have
achieved this season, I said at the beginning of the season I wanted us to get
on the park at least twenty times, but to win twenty times with the two
inter-club games, has been a massive achievement. Thanks also to those new &
old faces who came, liked what they saw & stayed along for the
ride.
One serious point before I sign off for the
Summer, the thorny issue of pre-season training, this will start in September
but unfortunately this will probably coincide with our first fixture.....
Friends of the Yards
It was good to see Keith (Bert) Black at the club and he still looks young enough to be playing.
At the Eds Vets Bash, it was good to bump into Birmingham Barbarian (Kynoch) legend John Ross as well as the Spencer brothers.