Old Yardleians RFC: Club News

Lethargy attack!

Wed, 06 Oct 2010 11:53

 Fortunately I was not able to watch our 1st team this week but a conversation with coach, Gary Robinson, told me everything. As he saw it we started the season very well indeed and sometimes there is the feeling that all we have to do is turn up and the rest happens automatically.  Boys, it ain't like that.  It appeared that Redditch wanted it a little more than us and played to their potential.  On the other hand we did not take our chances except for a typically powerful close range try for Peter the fridge. On the whole we played well below our potential and the hosts edged a game that really should have been ours.  If one or two players have an off day you can get away with it but when ten or eleven of the team don't perform it makes winning difficult.  Lesson learnt, we hope.  Next game is a league match at home to a Shipston side that is having a good season so far.  Let's hope that we recover our form for their visit.

Final score  Redditch 10    Yards  5

Development XV

Playing at home to a useful Veseyans 2nds, our youngsters played very well in phases and could easily have got a victory but the visitors used their experience to good effect, defending well and taking the correct options when needed.  Yards, on the other hand, played very well and with good pace but failed to make the most of the chances created and conceded points through defensive errors or inexperience.  Tries were scored by Guy Smith, James O'Donnaghy and Tom Thaker with Kaarl, son of Billy, adding two conversions.  Pershore away this week so make sure you take enough cash for a cider or two!

Final score  Yards 19   Veseyans  31

Vandals XV

It has taken me a long time but now I know how the skipper recalls so much detail.  So that's why dictaphones were invented.  Clever old so and so!  Now for your weekly read so get the kettle on, make yourself a cuppa and make yourself comfortable.

A break in the current monsoon season found us back at Tilehouse Lane this Saturday against familiar opponents Tamworth. A club promoted to the division above us last season and now running an occasional fourth team. Having played them three times last season Slow was quick to spot only three or four players of our vintage, the rest largely twenty & early thirty somethings so looking like another tough proposition like last week against Bournville.
For a third week in a row this week's blindside Marcus "the Shark" Hope took charge of the Vandals and in Andy Wigley we had a referee young enough to be even his love child! In the front row Shannon "Sidestep" Killarney, Rick "Swing" Lowe and completing the heavyweight trio Mark "Dai" Baldwin. A second row resembling Right said Fred in John Lonie & Andy Killarney, and completing the starting eight Rob "Barstool" Bastock & Simon "Snapper" Singleton.
At scrum half Iain "Johnno" Johnson, fly half Barry-John "Baz" Cole, and in the centres Nick "the Barrel" Palmer & joint leading try scorer Lee "Coatsey" Coates moving in off the wing to cover for Smoking's elevation into the Development side. On the wings our other top try scorer Phil "Horse" Watson and this week's token youngster Jon Bodsworth, popping down from the Development side to see how the other half win and at fullback the ever elegant Ian "Nev" Neville.
On a very large bench this week just demonstrating our Club's current strength in depth, Roger "the Dodger" Lazenby (who with the early kick off on the adjacent pitch warmed up by guesting in the back row for Veseyans against our own Development Side) Phil "the General" Evans (who also warmed up in similar fashion but against Rog), the golfing Gouldbourn brothers Phil & Alistair, 50th birthday boy Nick "the Assassin" Levey, Tim "Love Machine" Russell, the very tardy Cedric "Bob" Farrell, Captain Slow and (pull in case of emergency) Bill "Gilbert" Burrows.
Tamworth winning the toss they opted to kick towards the Clubhouse the ball sailing into the arms of Barstool who immediately took it into contact, we set and Baz spins out a miss pass to Coatesy, Nev comes into the the line and neatly chips ahead but Tamworth take it cleanly and bring it up a few yards before Snapper gets his first victim of the day, Tamworth offload and next up tackles by Barrel & Johnno. Tamworth attempt to recycle the ball, but take too long and we pinch it, Johnno spins it but the ball is too hot for Baz and is spilled for the game's first scrum. The referee spots a binding infringement by Tamworth, and Johnno takes it quickly and gives it to Barstool who resists all temptation to pass it to Coatsey on his shoulder. Finally Rob is stopped but we recycle and chip but the kick is charged down by Tamworth, but Barry-John collects the rebound and passes it to where he thought his winger should've been. Lineout Tamworth; they secure their own ball despite the double bubbling of Marcus & Symes and they drive it on a bit before releasing their backs who are halted initially in their tracks by Barrel & Coatesy but Tamworth manage to hang on to it and spin it and get behind us to score the opening try of the game under the posts 0-5 easy conversion for a 0-7 lead. At which point one of the younger Tamworth players remarked rather loudly "see they're nothing but a bunch of fat old b*stards"....ouch!
Tamworth take the restart cleanly and kick ahead from just outside their twenty two but our Nev fluffs his lines and knocks it forward, scrum to Tamworth on our ten metre line but we spoil their scrum, Barstool gets in amongst them and toe pokes ahead from which Tamworth knock it on and we get the scrum around their ten. Rob picks up from the base, goes blind, sells some double glazing pops it to Horse who rumbles over the diminutive fullback to score under the posts 5-7 Simple conversion for Barry-John all square at 7-7.
The Tamworth restart doesn't go ten, maybe five if we're counting, scrum Yards. We split the backs, nice steady ball from our Eight, Johnno takes spins to Barrel and loops him taking the return, quick flat offload to Horse who cuts back inside, passes to Snapper in support to Baz to Coatsey who lights 'em up and goes over and brings it under the posts to dot it down 12-7 simple conversion 14-7 Top draw try that.
Shannon takes the restart and all his mates get round him and Johnno encourages us to get the drive on, the ball squirts out forward on the Tamworth side, but blindsided the ref doesn't spot it and Lonie jumps on it all innocent like and waits for his mates to arrive. We set, short pop and Shannon squeezes in his mandatory sidestep, finds his brother Andy who takes it on as we work the narrow side before the ball finds Barry-John, Horse comes in on the inside and breaks through the defensive line, Simon Singleton in support takes the pass to go under the posts 19-7. Baz's conversion goes wide. Hooker Rick limps off with a foot injury, Dai moves to hooker and the tattooed man Tim Russell watching the wrong game eventually comes on at tighthead.
From the restart we get a scrum, nice and steady, we feign to go one way but take it narrow, Nev in the line, ball goes to ground but doesn't go forward, Nev picks up and finally our other wing Jon Bodsworth gets a pass, but is bundled into touch by the Tamworth cover. Tamworth win their ball but only just as the Shark is fingertips away, they drive it on a good ten metres but it starts to splinter at the back and Snapper is drawn offside, advantage to Tamworth, who promptly drop it, so get the penalty. They kick only to send it over the dead ball line, twenty two to us, we win it Marcus takes it on, we're stopped, we set and Johnno whips it out to Baz who floats a great long miss pass to Coatesy who sets off, he lets it go to Horse, who puts it back inside to Coatesy who is driven into touch about five metres out. Lineout to Tamworth, who catch set, drive & stall, ball held up but ref lets them keep possession. Scrum to them our Eight disrupt their ball, drive them off it and Rob picks up and goes, he's stopped, we spin and Barrel collides with one of our own. Scrum to Tamworth, they send in a big unit to bolster their under pressure front row, and he shores up their scrum, pass goes out to their "robust" (see how much more subtle I am with the insults) fly half & captain who makes a good clearance. Throw in to us taken by John Lonie but who's a bit isolated and gets turned over by weight of numbers (Captain speak for where were the rest of you) their No.8 takes it on a few metres before they spin and a big long speculative high pass goes wayward, Coatesy fly hacks the loose ball ahead and like so many times last season he wins the foot race to collect and score (he runs even quicker without the ball) 24-7 conversion goes just wide. Just over twenty minutes gone.
Normal service is resumed and Shannon takes the restart, we set and drive, but we swap ownership as the ball goes forward and Tamworth take it on, we let them have it, put in a token guard and defend the line, the pass goes out to inside centre and he's clattered by Barrel just outside our twenty two and their more "experienced" players (see subtlety again) take it on, but they drop it, Barstool jumps on it and secures, Johnno passes left to Baz who puts it into space and Bod gives chase, but their fullback eludes his attention and makes good ground, before being finally caught by Coatesy and we get a penalty for not releasing. Baz sends the kick out left mid way between the ten & twenty two. Snapper takes the catch at four, the ball is sent out and Barrel comes in on his first scissors of the day, making good yardage, goes down, gets back up again, still driving, he's finally held, Johnno sends it out, long pass by Baz, goes to ground Nev picks it up off the deck without breaking his stride, he pops it to Horse and it takes three Tamworth defenders to drive him out just inside their twenty two.
Tamworth secure their own ball and drive it on, before sending it out, the fly half's kick is a bit streaky and goes cross field, their winger recovers, kicks and gets a lucky deflection off Bod to win the lineout. They take it off the top and secure the ball, but the green blanket pours through the gaps and Shannon wrestles it free, we spin and Baz gets held up in midfield and the ball goes loose. Scrum to Tamworth, their fly half puts it downfield, Nev takes and  dummies the kick fixing the defence and goes hurtling up the wing before putting it up for real, they just about field it and start to move it only to be hunted down by the human dynamo Snapper, Barrel's up there, Coatesy's up there so is Marcus, we're about five metres out and Barrel rips it free, Coatsey takes it on but Tamworth hold out and the ball goes out ten metres from their line. Lineout to Tamworth and they clear.
But not for long as within minutes Coatesy completes his hat-trick with sheer pace to increase our lead to 29-7 conversion missed.
From the restart Tamworth get a scrum and they spin to their fly half who pops it back inside to last season's captain Graham Hakes but the pass is forward. Good steady scrum ball shephered at Barstool's feet, he picks up and goes route one at the Tamworth fly half with Shark almost inside his shorts, but Rob's floated pass goes forward. Scrum to Tamworth, their No.8 taking a leaf out of Rob's book picks and goes, he passes but Snapper chases down the first receiver, and Baz gets the second, but Tamworth are still making forward progress with some good offloading out of the tackle. Their ten makes a great break but sends out a wayward pass which is dropped on by the newly coiffured Barrel who pops it up to Coatesy who does a step on the fullback and streaks in under the posts for his fourth. 34-7 Baz makes no mistake 36-7
Shark takes the restart spurns Shannon and gives to Johnno, who feeds Baz who gets a deep kick away to 5 or so metres outside the Tamworth twenty two, and Bod marks it up.  Tamworth throw but Snapper steals it at four but we are penalised for holding on or some such nonsense. They take it quick and Rob picks up the runner, Tim takes the next one, but they're still going forward, they set, but Johnno steals, ships it out to Baz who does a number and sets Barrel away, he goes looking for Horse on the inside, who duly takes it and spurning Baz's offers of help goes in under the posts. 41-7 Baz does get the conversion as a consolation prize 43-7 and that's the end of the half.
Half time 43-7 Raspberry isotonics (just for a change) and not bad for a bunch of fat old b*stards, and the young Tamworth Turks probably choking a bit on their words.
With the large bench at our disposal relatively wholesale changes at half time. Hard working John & Andy come off and the golfing Goldbourns go into the second row, Snapper Singleton comes off for birthday boy Nick Levey, Roger on for Barstool, the General for Johnno & finally Horse trots off to make way for Bob's mate Cedric.
Bazza takes the kick off and sends it deep into the Tamworth corner, they field it cleanly and kick to touch, but it's a slice of Celtic Manor and the ball goes out just beyond their twenty two. We have a cunning plan and we shorten the lineout, too cunningly as the referee fails to spot it or heed the verbal hints, but it's academic as big Phil towers above his counter part and plucks it out of the air. The General spins it out to Baz at ten who pops it back inside to flanker Nick (who had cunningly stayed out of the line) and who takes it into contact and is driven on initially by big Rog & Ali G and we all pile in. Tamworth somehow manage to turn it over (Captain's note to any referees: do you ever wonder how this happens?) and clear their line albeit just about five or six metres out from goal.
Again we have a cunning plan at the lineout and Dai chucks in a short one to the front of the line which goes pear shaped as Tamworth nick it and string a few passes together moving it infield before dropping it at the feet of......Coatesy, who takes a moment to look up, sees five or six evenly spaced defenders in front of him, plots his course and weaves around most of them to score under the posts. 48-7 Baz slots the easy conversion for us to pass the half century for the third time this season 50-7.
The restart fails to cross the ten, scrum to us, which pops straight out the channel and we have another go. This time we go for an 8-9 special, Rog picks up and draws the attention of their flanker & No.8 before popping it inside to the General who feeds the Barrel who hits the ten metre line (yes that far out) at full tilt, their winger & fullback don't really fancy it and Nick goes over next to the sticks. 55-7 Again Baz makes no mistake for his sixth conversion of the game. 57-7  
Barrel pays for it though as he tweaks his rubber band in the process and has to come off after another fine performance. Horse comes back on into the centre looking like it's Christmas come early, the twelve shirt just about fitting.
Big Phil takes the restart and we set and Tamworth infringe, penalty to us. The General takes it quick and we earn another for not ten, we opt to kick but it fails to find touch but Tamworth fail to capitalise, as they run then kick ahead and Nev calmly shepherds it out over our dead ball line.
Shortly after Tamworth are awarded a lineout which they take cleanly and spin it our defence holds but Tamworth are awarded a scrum. From it they go blind and Cedric puts in a crunching tackle, but they manage to recycle and go short yardage through their forwards, and set again before spinning it out and knocking it on. Steady scrum from our Eight sees the ball passed to Horse who unsurprisingly cracks open the midfield and sees Bob's mate in support and Ced goes over for his third try of the season. 62-7. Conversion missed. "Love Machine" decides he's had enough of all this experienced meat up his backside and makes way for Officer Burrows at tighthead (actually Tim had a Tesco delivery at five).
Ali G takes the catch from the restart and goes on a charge making ten or twelve metres, from which we set and the General whips it out, but a midfield pass is adjudged marginally forward. Scrum to Tamworth, No.8 goes blind and his legs are removed by the Assassin. Tamworth recycle and their winger (I think) evades all our loving attention until Nev gets him just inside our twenty two and wannabe fly half Shannon kicks to touch (which must have been some corner-flagging by the quiet man in that case). From the lineout we're aerial a day and a half early and the ref gives Tamworth a free kick. They take it quick but we stop them and they are penalised for holding on. With about 25 minutes to go Bazza puts a long kick down into their half from which we secure good lineout ball and the General talks the pack into going forward, Tamworth finally opt to collapse it...penalty. The General takes it quick, short pass to Ali G who's looking for trade with brother Phil & Rog in close support, and Tamworth infringe again, but this time we kick to touch. Big Phil takes and the ball gets to Bill who goes on a trundle, but we're penalised for something (was on the far side of the pitch in fairness) Tamworth clear their lines. We let Tamworth secure their own ball and Bill (small b) burrows in (how they laughed) & digs it out. Pass goes to Cedric who feeds Shannon then to our youngster Jon Bodsworth (though can't quite believe both our wingers were that close together) and Bod is forced into touch. Another rubber band tweaked and Shannon limps off and Rick limps back on.
The game starts to get a touch messy as fatigue sets in and clock ticks down. With just over fifteen to go the General substitutes himself (Captain's note check with me next time) & Johnno comes back into the fray. We start to get back on track and we force play into the Tamworth twenty two with a great drive from the worker bees but Tamworth manage to turn it over and kick to touch just inside their ten metre. Baz ever alert decides to take a quick throw in and hurls a long one infield to... (in fairness I wasn't looking), but Baz reckoned his fellow backs were on a different wavelength, and  the loose ball is picked up in midfield by some fairly bemused Tamworth players who run it up the park to score, cue the odd snigger. 62-12 the conversion is missed.
Not long after following some less than committed defence they score another consolation try under the posts which they do convert 62-19
But we're not finished just yet, we get a lineout just inside the Tamworth twenty two, big Phil takes it unopposed (and so he bl**dy should) and it comes off the top to Johnno who makes the break through a hole in the tail of the line, created by some, no doubt clever nonsense by Rog. Johnno is held up by his opposite number but offloads the pass to Ali G in support who gives the Tamworth winger a slice of palm and falls over the line 67-19. Conversion missed.
Marcus comes off, Captain Slow plods on for the last five or six minutes, still plenty of time to hit his opposite number both late and high, cue some minor verbal, but referee opts for a quite word with Slow at the next scrum "who me??" We absorb a little more Tamworth pressure before the referee calls time. 
Another victory for the chronologically challenged, thick waisted orphans! 
Final Score 67-19 Final age 631
Next week a trip to the country in Pershore, please book your places on the beer bus ASAP with Slow

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