Sunday 13 March
Under 7 v Bromsgrove away
Under 8 Ashby Festival
Under 9/10 v Wednesbury home
Under 14 v Kings Norton away
Under 15 v Alcester v Cheltenham at Alcester in a 3 - way contest first game at 10.30 and the host club putting on a feast after the game (don't tell Fridge!).
Alcester 's club is located on, Birmingham Road, Kings Coughton, Alcester, B49 5QF and we need you to get there in good time please
Social events
St Patrick
s +1 at the club.
A brilliant laugh (watch Brian perform an Irish dance), a quality Irish band, and for more information just look on the home page of this website.
Friends of The Old Yards
As I mentioned earlier I called in at the Eds on saturday and when I got to the second team game bumped into some regular villains. Jan Ogan, Cleggy, Steve Jacks, Horse and Tall Bloke who can't catch. When I asked why they weren't playing they started with the usual tosh about injuries but eventually the truth came out. Their Captain thought the lads from the Old Ys who had their came called off might be better players than them. Harsh but probably true to an extent. My memory might play tricks but I do recall most of these guys playing for the Ys at some time or another. Boys, you are not that bad. Buy your Captain/Coach some beer, turn up training and who knows what might happen?
Oldfield Old Boys 3rds vs. Vandals - Mini Tour match report 2nd AprilSaturday 2nd April 2011 found us on our season's second "mini tour" down in the picturesque city of Bath to play Oldfield Old Boys 3rds, a Level 7 club whose first team ply their trade in the Southern Counties South, South West Division where they currently lie second in the table (we being Level 8 should you be wondering).
With a few of the usual subjects missing, Nev living it up in Las Vegas, the General being down a manhole, Ralph nursing his rubber band, Mike similarly his ankle and Johnno on the Piste this meant a slightly rejigged starting fifteen, with a debut handed to "young" Lee Purdy and a return to action for the experienced trio of Chicken, Bobo & Fridge.
So starting in harness this week Shannon "Steps" Killarney at loosehead, tour virgin (so I'm told) Rick "Swing" Lowe at hooker, and Mark "Gethin" Baldwin at tighthead, in the boiler room John "Fingers" Lonie and Phil "BMT" Gouldbourn with tackle twins Marcus "Shark" Hope and Nick "the Assassin" Levey on the flanks with the ever eloquent "you're a f**ing prick you are" Rob "Barstool" Bastock starting at No.8.
In the attendants Lee "Purds" Purdy at scrum half alongside Gary "Smokin'" Williams at fly half, Nick "Barrel" Palmer partnering Simon "Slippery" Singleton in midfield, wings Dave "Chicken" Hanson and Welsh Ryder Cup legend Chris "Crash" Rowe and Sean "Squealer" Byrne at fullback .
A colossal bench then with Bill "Bilbo" Burrows, club coach Gary "Bobo" Robinson, Pete "Fridge" Butler and bringing up last night's chips Captain Slow, together with the Vandals own sports psychologist and Bob's mate Cedric and team paparazzi Ali "Spasm" Gouldbourn.
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Unlike Lymington thanks to Bath's excellent taxi service we arrived on time and in good order and were able to enjoy Oldfield's plush surroundings and unseasonal sunshine before getting down to the task in hand. As we took to the very large pitch the rocket scientists amongst us quickly noticed that probably two thirds of the opposition were old enough to be love children and that the wide open expanses of North East Somerset were going to be more of an advantage to their younger legs.
A small slope on the pitch however marginal made it an important toss then for stunt captain Lonie to win and he duly obliged opting to receive and play up the slope in the first half.
A fairly forgettable error strewn first half I think we'll all admit where we were simply unable to get into our stride or able to string any meaningful phases of play together, so I don't propose to go over it in detail. Some fairly generous refereeing (a former Oldfield player in only his seventh game incidentally) allowed the opposition youngsters to live predominantly offside throughout the first half stifling our creative department, who were unable to manufacture any real space in the midfield or out on the flanks, and compelling us to force the play more often than not.
Oldfield were first to open the scoring after about five minutes; Oldfield having being awarded a scrum Rick and the boys took it against the head, Purds sets off from the base, spins to Smokin' who passes to Barrel who takes it off his toenails but is enveloped before he can really gain control of it (that would be offside then) and he's turned over and Chicken has to make the first up tackle but is unable to stop the pass getting away to their tricky little winger and it's Barrel who makes the next hit. They recycle quickly and spin, their young three quarters running largely at our forwards, Barstool & Smokin' make the next two tackles but Oldfield keep it alive and come left and their centre carves through our defence with a well taken cut back to go over close to the posts 0-5. Oldfield convert the simple kick to increase their lead 0-7 and they don't look bad for it either in fairness and are probably justified in thinking they are going to score a boatload in the Spring sunshine.
But as our regular readers know the Vandals don't ever roll over but it takes the best part of another gruelling thirty minutes of stop start rugby before we open our account. Following a knock on Oldfield were awarded a defensive scrum a few metres from their line, Steps & Gethin put on the squeeze (not sure who was up against the 61 year old) and the pip squirts out the side and the Assassin's on it like a flash, the ball comes back to big Phil and we secure it and drive it forward Vandal style, Chicken giving plenty of technical advice on body positions as we roll towards the posts. Eventually Swing breaks off with it and takes it into contact and we clear them out, Purds whips it out to Smokin' who's been setting up their defence with dummy scissors after dummy scissors and he finally unleashes the Barrel on a real one and he cleaves his way through the defence to score virtually untouched under the under the posts 5-7 Smokin's conversion attempt agonisingly comes back off the crossbar.
Barstool catches the restart and sets off in typically robust style making some good yards before he's stopped, the 677 gather round and the ball comes back cleanly to Purds who ships it to Smokin' who rifles a long one up field.The ball sits up nicely for the Oldfield fullback who collects and bangs it up end over end down the park where Nick Levey clears up the loose ball. In the resulting mêlée the ball goes forward off an Oldfield hand and we are awarded the scrum just inside our half. Our Eight now beginning to exert some muscle secure steady ball for Purds who spots a gap behind their midfield and chips over the top, the ball bisecting their winger and fullback and he has the gas to collect his own kick to go over to score 10-7. Gary's conversion goes just wide, Oldfield look a bit nonplussed at their sudden reversal in fortunes and the ref's whistle goes to bring the first half to a close.
Halftime 10-7 A forthright halftime chat where we highlight the areas where things are going wrong, but realising that despite this, we are in the driving seat, and history shows like a good port we only get better....especially downhill. In international style fresh legs come in the front row in the form of Bilbo & Fridge for hardworking Shannon & Mark.
It's only a few minutes after the restart that we increase our lead further following a penalty for an Oldfield player not releasing the ball from the tackle; Smokin' puts the ball out on their twenty two. Big Phil takes a messy ball at four and we set then drive, the ball safely in the clutches of Rick in the van. We're held up and Purds spins it out to Smokin' who looks over his shoulder for Barstool, but he's gone the other way so settles with an offload to Fridge instead who takes it into contact and we set. Purds makes the initial break, is tackled and we drive over and Barstool picks up and goes. He's held up, the ball comes back and Bilbo has a trundle, then Rick has a go as we start to soften them up a bit, but Purds sees a gap and he's gone, scoring between the sticks 15-7. Gary makes no mistake 17-7.
This third unanswered try finally spurs Oldfield into action and a few minutes, a poor clearance kick and a couple of forward passes later they go over for an unconverted try 17-12. Slow snarls on the touchline.
Smokin's restart gets held up in the wind and we go back for a scrum on the halfway line, but the replacement Oldfield scrum half is pinged for feeding and we get the free kick. Purds takes it quickly, passes to Smokin' who kicks ahead into space, it's gathered by Slippery who offloads to Fridge in support as we cross their twenty two, he in turn pops it to the Assassin and a great run sees him get to within seven or eight metres of their line before he's finally held up. We set and Lee sends it out to Smokin' who has to take man and ball (that would be offside again) he stands it up and the 677 pile in and drive it on, we can see the line as the ball comes out to Symes who scythes his way through the defence to score our fourth 22-12. Kick unsuccessful, but it's still a two score lead. Nick Levey comes off, Barstool moves onto the flank and Bobo comes on at No.8.
Big Phil takes the restart and we set and we seem to take an age to present it to Purds, who sends it out to Smokin', he steps his man and chips ahead, Chicken's onto it and pops it up to Fridge who sets off for glory and gets to within five metres of the line before he's stopped and we set, Barrel's in there first he passes to Chicken who pops it to Bobo who takes it on the crash and gets almost to the line. We set and are teeing up the pass to Fridge when Oldfield aggressively counter-ruck and turn us over and to add insult to injury the ref gives them a penalty, which they take quickly whilst the referee is still engaging us in conversation and try to play their way out of their twenty two. Barstool makes a great tackle, but they manage to offload and give it some width but Chicken drives his opposite number into touch for a Yards lineout between the ten and the twenty two as a small scuffle breaks out and Barstool's vents his spleen with some choice Anglo-Saxon and the referee decides to call the captains together for a chat.
The ball goes loose at the tail of the line and is knocked forward for a scrum to Oldfield, and our Eight promptly drive them off it and Barstool picks up and goes and we start to string some good phases together using our big lads as Oldfield's younger forwards start to struggle with our old fashioned physicality and rolling maul as Bobo, Lonie, Fridge & Bilbo each take turns in grinding out the hard yards but it's big Phil who's finally driven into touch well inside their twenty two. They throw long and after a couple of attempts Rob comes down with it and we secure and the green machine moves forward again, then Bobo goes blind finds Fridge who's unstoppable from this range and he goes over in the corner for a great forward try 27-12. Kick unsuccessful but game in the bag.
Oldfield switch the kick at the restart but Crash takes it cleanly over on the far side and runs it back to the halfway line where he is driven into touch. Shark gets a hand to the Oldfield throw and Swing tidies up the knock down and off we go the fat boys working in concert, with Bilbo at the back, but Purds decides he's had enough and he sends it out to Smokin', to Barrel who knocks it on, ref plays advantage but none comes so scrum to Oldfield. Bobo pauses to stretch off those hamstrings. Ball comes in and straight out the other side and Shark picks up and goes but the ref decides to have another go. We try to unintentionally wheel the scrum, but they manage to get it away and Slippery makes the tackle; they recycle and go again and Barrel makes the next one and it's adjudged to have gone forward off Nick, for another scrum to Oldfield.
Our weight advantage beginning to tell as we take another against the head and Bobo picks and goes and bulldozes his way through the first couple, unloads to Shark in support, he pops to BMT who takes it on another couple of yards before we set. Purds peels before sending it out to Smokin', to Barrel, to Slippery, he ducks under the first tackle and goes, before sending a bit of bouncing bomb out to Sean who opts to fly hack it ahead. Oldfield collect and try to run it back out and Barrel makes the first tackle, they recycle and punt it forward and Crash gives chase. He picks up reverses course and goes through two or three tackles before he's finally stopped, and we set, ball comes out to Barrel who bundles a couple over before passing to Chicken but Swing makes the interception and knocks on!
Again our Eight put the squeeze on and again the Oldfield nine is pinged for feeding. Chicken's first to it and he takes it quickly, jinks past the first couple (makes Slippery look like sandpaper), offloads to Lonie who's a little less subtle and goes route one, he passes to Marcus in support who takes it into contact and then to ground and we clear them out, but a pair of amber & red hands reaches in and pinches it and they have a go at the rolling maul. But they're not as good at it as we are and it collapses and the ref calls ruck and it's Barstool who finally secures it, Chicken takes the pass sees a gap, breaks through the attempted tackle and he's away, outsprinting the cover to score under the posts 32-12 He drop kicks over his own conversion 34-12
Nick Levey & Mark Baldwin back on for Marcus & Rick respectively for the final ten.
Our final try is a gem, the ball is spun wide through the hands to Chris on the far side wing who gives a great timed inside pass to Fridge who sprints in from about twenty yards to score his second 39-12. Slippery this time drop kicks the conversion (show off) 41-12.
With about five or so minutes to go Slippery comes off with some minor muscular ailment, Barstool rumbles into the centre and Slow comes onto the flank for just the one scrum, for as the ball is spun out Sean joins the line, is tackled and goes down awkwardly and dislocates his ankle and a new nickname is born as he lets us all know he's done for the afternoon. With Squealer refusing the offer of an ambulance it is agreed between Lonie, the ref and their skipper that it's a good point to end the afternoon's proceedings given the serious nature of the injury.......and the score line.
Final Score 41-12 Final Age 652
We all retire to Oldfield's excellent wine bar like Clubhouse to enjoy Chris's excellent golfing skills before hitting Bath's All Bar One and beyond for those who managed to stay awake.
Housekeeping:
Anybody lost a pair of black rubber undershorts?
Slow