She who likes to organise most things booked a holiday without realising that the rugby season started seriously at this time of year. O. K. it was brilliant but how could I keep a check on events when I was half way across the world? I guess that in a way it is a bit like following Corrie or Eastenders, in other words you miss a chunk but within minutes of tuning back in you are almost certain to be up to date with the gist of the happenings. The scores were relayed to me which was very good news but then I thought to myself that I would get a more balanced picture by reading the reports on our opposition teams own websites.
In the dark ages of recent seasons during which time we took some heavy losses, particularly in the First XV, the match reports were splashed across as many websites and newspapers as our friends from other clubs basked in their successes. However, it is possible that I might not be looking in the right places, but news of our victories don't seem to be quite as comprehensive as they could be. Oh well, that's life! I will give a brief run down of the tale so far.
First XV
v Birmingham Civil Service League Home Won 36 - 13
v Keresley League Away Won 67 - 7
Development XV
v Woodrush 2nds Away Won 78 - 7
v Cannock 2nds Home Won 40 - 0
Vandals XV
v Camp Hill Home Won 31 - 24
v Exiles 2nds Away won 21 - 12
See Exiles 2nds vs. Vandals full match report below.
Under 17s
v Yardley and District League Away won 26 - 0
This Weekend
Fixtures, subject to anyone making last minute cancellations or not turning up, should be like this,
Saturday 3.00 First XV v Cannock at Home First round of Junior Vase (ref. David Roberts)
Dev XV v Pershore away
Vandals v Stourport away
Sunday 10.00 Minis and Juniors (including under 17s) training at Old Yards meet at 10.00
The action starts for our young stars next weekend ,30th Sept. when our under 7,8,9,10 and 12s all visit Kings Norton for a multi-club introduction to the season. Your team manager/coach will give you details of times etc.
The Under 17s play a home league match against Aston Old Eds on that date.
Guess Who
Whilst having a meal with this celebrity and his wife, the young waiter from the Phillipines, a nice lad with limited english skills asked our celebrity what he did for a living. The waiter misheard the reply of 'Funeral Director' and became very excited in the knowledge that he was waiting on a 'Film Director' and sped away to tell his pals that Harry Potter's Director was in the restaurant. Any of you who can identify our celebrity can claim a free autograph from him in person.
And Finally
I must congratulate both Villa and the Blues for starting the season so impressively. But looking at the serious end of the game, it is clear to see that Mr Wenger certainly knows best. Sound defence came first and a pile of goals are now being scored, with wins at home and in the big boys competition. However, I am not too sure about the approaching games when we take on some of our famous rejects. Oh well, fingers crossed.
Exiles 2nds vs. Vandals - full match report
Last weekend saw us plane spotting at a very forlorn looking Birmingham Exiles in our second Greater Birmingham merit league game. Exiles are due to be moving to the plush former home of their local rivals Birmingham Civil Service in the coming weeks and they now lacked a few of the rugby basics running warm water & beer. For those of us who are old enough to remember Catherine-de-Barnes Lane being the original home to Birmingham Welsh prior to their merger with Birmingham City Officials fifteen years ago...I kid you not. Gethin would have liked it back then lots of Welsh shirts, photos, caps & sheep skins on the walls.
And again a bit too warm for our old legs if you ask me, and with a pitch like concrete as Max's head will attest.
Lots of discussion prior to the game with their skipper, no referee, thirteen or fourteen players and only one maybe two recognised front rows, so would we entertain passive scrummaging, and maybe provide a player oh and a ref. At the thought of passive scrummages Gethin visibly pales and offers to referee the game, he does live for this manno a manno combat on a Saturday. Going uncontested does however resolve Slow's immediate dilemma of asking Rog, Alan or John to play loosehead with Shannon coming down with the Ebola virus and Fridge making whoopee at Butlins (sorry working). In fairness to John he does manfully step up & offer to prop for the opposition, which would mean Mark could scrum, which would mean they would have to provide a ref, which would mean they would be down to twelve or thirteen until their missing players turned up...so thought best option to go with Plan A.
In the pack then Roger "the Dodger" Lazenby, Rick "Swing" Lowe, engine room of Andy "Harry Hill" Killarney & Phil "BMT" Gouldbourn , and back row of Nick "Assassin" Levey , Marcus "Shark" Hope and Rupert "the Major" Young at No.8. Half backs this week scrum half Phil "General" Evans & fly half Max "Gimo" Gimson (Nev discovering he has a groin with which to strain), Tony "Fitz" Fitzgerald & Iain "Johnno" Johnson in midfield with Sean "Squealer" Bryne & Pat "Austin" Waldron-Healy out on the flanks with own Mr AngryDave "Ralph" Rollins at full back. Small bench than of late in John "Casper" Lonie, Alex "Conan" Doyle (I had to explain that one to him), Captain Slow and putting his boots on for the first time in anger since they cut them off him last October Simon "Sideways" Singleton. In all seriousness great to see Symes back in action after a truly horrific ankle injury..... thoughno doubt Sean thinking "at least I went dancing after mine!"
Having thankfully albeit temporarily misplaced the Vandal's chronicling device just the scores this week, besides you know what you did or didn't do anyway....and no Simon I don't mean you, none of us would've got anywhere near him let alone got hands on him!! Stunt skipper the Major gets the coin toss right , well guess which of Mark's hands the blade of grass is in and wisely opts to play uphill in the first half. It's a fairly scrappy one at that, not helped by Subbuteo scrummaging and Exiles' first up tackling being pretty uncompromising & being ruthlessly efficient in slowing the ball down at the tackle area at every opportunity. Things are not helped further with Max being fairly unnecessarily thrown to the ground in the opening few minutes with such force I heard the thud from the sidelines, resulting in him seeing out a large part of the half amongst the stars at fullback with mild concussion, with multi-functioning Ralph having to boss things at ten. As a result we do well to reach half time 5-0 down against a livelier & largely younger pack.
Max comes off, Sean moves to fullback & Sideways comes onto the wing. Things go a little awry a few minutes into the second half when on the attack we cough up the ball in their third, they kick it wide (whether it was to touch we'll never know) and it bounces into the hands of one of their quickest players on about our ten, and he legs it despite Symes' last ditch attempt to score under the posts for a converted try 12-0. Now then follows a real rant in their huddle on how we showed them disrespect, reminded me of that Norwegian commentator Bjorge Lillelien - can you hear me, Maggie Thatcher! Your boys took one hell of a beating! I've no idea why they were so pi**ed off at us mind.
Anyway as a group we're nothing if not belligerent, and our big eight then set about strangling the life out the Exiles pack and utilising the slope to good effect, with the General urging the troops forward, followed by sending in the heavy artillery down the slope in the shape of Arks & Roger to pummel them further. This uncompromising tactic pays off with a short range hat trick for Roger all close to the posts and all converted by Ralph and there we are 21-12 up in the space of fifteen or so minutes, and even the referee can't quite believe he's allowed three tries to someone he usually cards!
Final score 21-12 Final age 626.
Man with the dirtiest shirt this week goes to Roger for his second half hat trick.....Mark has done much soul searching since and may never be able to put whistle to mouth again.
Cold showers, for those man enough, canned beer & butties afterwards before a thorough warm down at The Boat.
Anyone interested in having their own stripey playing shirt let me know, these can be a little personalised, choice of flag for the nationalists amongst you, nickname on collar etc, cost about £35.00
Slow.